My Testimony: What True Love Is..God, He and She!!!

Sarah Adams take you, Lawson Kuti as
my lawful wedded husband, to love and
to cherish, in sickness and in health, till
death do us part” she smiled at him
through her veil.
“You may now kiss your bride Mr.
Lawson” The Pastor beckoned.
Lawson’s heart raced as he gently
unveiled his bride’s face. She looked so
beautiful. He gently bent over and placed
a soft kiss on her lips. Sarah in turn
embraced him tightly with tears of joy
streaming down her face.
“Never leave me Sarah” He whispered in
her ear.
“I will never leave you” she whispered
and they slowly released themselves
from the embrace.
“I present to you the latest couple!” The
Pastor exclaimed excitedly

The church cheered and Sarah cried
more in her husband’s arms.
5 years Later
Sarah silently tip toed behind her
husband. He was in his study, engrossed
in reading. She smiled to herself and
gently covered his eyes with both hands.
“It’s just you and I in this house Sara,
plus, I smelled you the moment you
walked in” He dropped
Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on
the study table, “Why do you figure me
out so easily? I can’t even surprise you!
That sucks” she curled her arms around
his neck.
“You are my wife, nothing you do is
supposed to surprise me” He playfully
pecked her nose.
“But you’ve been in the study all day
and I’m bored!” She rolled her eyes
“So what kind of fun do you suggest we
have then?” He swooped her off the table
in his arms
“No! no that kind of fun!” She hit him
playfully till he put her down.
“Ok”, He folded his arms on his chest,
looking into her eyes, “So what do you
want us to do?”
“Not us. Actually, all I want is to play
with your play station and you’ve hidden
it again! Just give it to me and you can
continue your reading, pleaaaseee” She
blinked her eyes playfully
“No way”, He went back toward his
study chair and sat, “Not my play
station”
“Why! You never let me touch it…like
its your baby” She sulked.
“Well”, he rolled his eyes, “Not like
you’ve given me a baby yet”
Sara paused for a moment. Did he just
say that to her? The words struck her
deep down.
“You shouldn’t have said that
Lawson…” She managed to say, her
countenance changing.
“But it’s true…I’m only saying the truth
Sara” He turned to face her, still sitting
on the chair.
“The truth? You think I don’t want us to
have kids?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying
that…” He stood to face her now.
“Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell
me, what is the truth?”
“Let’s not do this today…please. You
can have the play station and play all
you want. It’s in my footwear locker and
the key is in my Bible.”
“You always do this…hurting me with
your words” Her voice began to shake.
“Don’t start Sara please”
“Tell me why you said those words to
me! I want to know!”
“Because I’m tired! I want to be a father!
I want to have my own kids Sara…” and
you think I don’t?!” Sara flared, trying
not to let the tears pour.
“Then why can’t you get pregnant Sara?
This is the fifth year we are trying.” He
clenched his teeth and walked out of the
study room.
Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair
for some seconds, stood up again and sat
on the chair again…this time she held on
to her blouse and burst into tears.
2weeks after
“Lawson, wake up please” Sara tapped
him
Lawson gently opened his eyes and
looked at the alarm clock by his bedside,
“It’s 2:00am Sara…”
“It’s urgent”
“I’m listening” He said drowsily.
“Mother says we should come for tests.
She says she’s spoken to her doctor and
he said we should come.”
“What?” Lawson opened his eyes now,
“Your mother is in the UK for Christ’s
sakes”
“Let’s just do it. We can go for the
weekend, lets just give it a shot, please.”
“No. That would be rather expensive
and…”
“It’s my birthday today and the only
thing I want from you is this trip”
Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two
years now, his wife’s birthday skips his
mind…totally.
“I’m…I’m sorry Sara…It skipped my
mind…”
“It always does” She lay down back on
the bed, backing him.
Lawson wrapped his arms around her
waist, “I said I’m sorry…”
No response.
Lawson sighed, “Fine, we go this
weekend”
“Really?” She turned sharply, excited.
“If it will make you happy today”
“Thank you baby” She hugged him.
A week after
Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone
in her pocket.
“Hi mom!” she pressed the phone to her
ear with her shoulders, wiping the
washed dishes with her hands.
“Honey…”
“What is it mom?” she pressed it harder
????The result…the result of the tests…”
her mother cried
Sarah gently dropped the plate and the
wiper, heart racing…”Just say it mom…”
That night
“I can never have children Lawson…”
Sara cried
Lawson felt his world crash right in front
of him, “W…what?”
“Mama called today…she’s gotten the
tests results”
“Jesus Christ” Lawson stood, placing his
palm on his head, “b…but you told me
you were ok before we got married, you
told me the doctor said your abortion
didn’t damage your womb”
“Don’t bring my past into this!” Sara
flared.
Lawson laughed and got serious almost
immediately, “You are crazy. I married a
crazy woman!”
Sara looked at him in shock, like he’d
lost his mind.
“The results say you can never have
children and we both know that this has
to do with the abortion you had before
we met!”, he flared, “are you happy?…
you know we’re screwed right? No kids?
what re we going to tell the world?”
“Lawson we can adopt…” Sara cried.
“Adopt? Wow!”, he laughed again, “I
married a funny woman too!” He got
serious again, “Its still not our baby! The
damn baby is not my flesh and blood!
You are full of deceit Sara” He looked
into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting
his tears.
“Lawson stop…you are hurting me…”
Sara fell on her knees crying.
“You want to know what I’m thinking?”
Lawson looked at her with disgust, “I’m
thinking how on earth I’m going to stand
seeing your deceitful face for the rest of
my life”
“Sara cried harder, “Dont give up
Lawson…So far I have a womb…I can
still carry our baby…”
“I am not giving up on having my baby,
I’m giving up on you” Lawson turned
around to leave
“Lawson!” She held his feet, “I’m
hurting too…”
He only dragged his feet from her hold
and drove out of the house. She wept.
A month Later
“Mother, he’s not even talking to me. All
of a sudden we are both strangers…He
doesn’t eat my food, comes home late…
he hates me so much and it’s killing me.
I’m confused…to think that it’s truly
hurting…”
“For how long will you hide this truth
from him. You’ve got to let him know…
you can’t carry his…”
There was the sound of a car horn.
“Mom I’ve got to go…he’s back”
“Baby, you’ve got to let him know. It can
work when you two are one in mind”
“Bye mom” she ended the call.
Lawson came into the house, about to
walk past her.
“Lawson” She held him
“I’m tired” He didn’t want to look at her
face
“I know…can we talk for some
minutes?” She tried to help him remove
his suit
“Look what is it” He jerked from her.
“Do you hate me this much? you can’t
even look me in the eye? you can’t even
stand my sight? Lawson…it’s me Sara…
your best friend…” Her eyes grew moist
“I’m in no mood for this” He turned
around to walk away
“Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking
to you!” She dragged him by the suit.
Just then, some papers fell to the floor.
Sara quickly bent to pick them up…her
hands shook and her body became numb
all over.
“D…divorce papers? Lawson?” She
searched his eyes.
“Answer me goddammit!” She held him
by the collar of his shirt, crying.
“They are for you to sign. I want to be
out” Lawson dropped.
“Y…you what?” she slowly freed him
from her hold.
“It’s not going to work Sara, can’t you
see?”
“Lawson I can’t believe you would think
of a divorce and even go this far…why
are you so wicked!” she cried, angry.
“No! Why are you so wicked!” He
retorted, flaring

“Think about me for once. I am a man for
Christ’s sakes. My children are my pride!
and you are about to deny me that for the
rest of my life because of your stupid
mistake!”
“What about me! have you stopped for
once to think about what I’m going
through”
“It’s your cross, carry it” Lawson fixed
his angry eyes on his wife.
“No, its now our cross and I am not
signing those divorce papers! We vowed
never to leave each other!”
“Isn’t it better Sara that you save
yourself more hurt and sign these papers
than to see another woman move into
this house before your very eyes?” he
said with a tone of sarcasm.
Sara’s heart thumped, “What?”
“You heard me…another woman who
can help raise a family, so save yourself
the stress and sign the damn papers. I
need it tomorrow”He turned around to
leave again
“She still can’t carry your baby” Sara
dropped
“Not all women had abortions. Not every
woman was like you.” He scorned
“You are the one who can’t give me a
child!” Sara let out, crying.
Lawson stopped now, turned around and
walked towards her, “Whatever your
plan is won’t work”
“I told you I could never have a child
because its you who can’t make me
pregnant”
“Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are
you saying!” He shook her shoulders
violently

“You are infertile Lawson…the doctor
says you have primary infertility…” Sara
burst into tears
Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.
“Mother called me to give me the news. I
was shattered, I felt like my world was
over but more importantly I thought of
you. I thought of what the news could do
to you, I thought of the best way to tell
you… never for once did i think of
leaving you. I bore your insults, your
scorn, because of my past. It was so easy
to judge me and think of yourself.
I am the one who is hurting, I am the one
who should bring some miserable
divorce papers…but I thought of you…I
thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I
thought of my vow to you on that altar.
In sickness and in health remember?”,
she smiled through her tears, “all of a
sudden you are as weak as a baby…
looking in your eyes, I can see you
suddenly have lost all your guards, You
are so wicked”
“Sara…” Lawson fell on his knees, torn.
“No!” She quickly fell on her knees too,
“No Lawson…” She couldn’t bear to see
him cry
“I’m…I’m infertile”, he cried, “What is
left of me?” he searched his wife’s eyes
“Lawson please…” she held his face, “I
understand…it has been so hard for
me…I have put myself in your shoes
since the first day…”
“You don’t deserve this…you deserve
better…I can’t believe I scorned you all
along…please let me leave you”
“No” she shook her head, “You are my
husband. I won’t leave you. I won’t let
you leave me…I believe in miracles”
“I’m doomed…Sara I’m doomed…”He
allowed his wife take him in her arms
and on her shoulder he wept like a child.
In the Morning
Sara gently opened her eyes, looking
beside her bed…it was empty. She
quickly sat up on seeing a note gently
placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she
opened the letter to read.
Sara,

I cannot bear the shame. I have treated
you so unfairly, yet you love me still,
you are with me even in this condition of
mine. To think that you knew all along
and you never for once gave me a clue
that it is my fault we are in this mess,
makes me so unworthy of you.
I love you enough to let you build
another life with a man who can make
you happier. I’m torn Sara and all I ask is
your forgiveness. I have always loved
you and if you truly love me then please
start your life over again…without me…
I am truly sorry for disappointing you.
Lawson.
Sara couldn’t control the tears. She
couldn’t think straight anymore. She
picked her cell phone, shaking…
“Hi Mr. Lawson’s office please”
“Hi Lola…” she cried, “have you seen
my husband today?”
“No…no ma’am, we’ve been expecting
him at work. He has a presentation is
fifteen minutes”
“Oh God…God…” Sara dipped her hand
in her full hair.
“Everything ok ma’am?”
“Thank you” she ended the call.
She quickly got down from the bed and
in her pyjamas she ran into her car. She
dialed his number repeatedly as she
drove…no answer.

At 2:00pm
She sped into Fred’s compound, a close
friend to her husband.
“Fred!” she banged the door hastily till
the door flung open
“My God Sara what’s wrong?” Fred held
her.
“It’s…it’s Lawson…have you seen him?
is he here?”
“No…Haven’t heard from him in a
week”
“Oh God” she held her hair
“What’s wrong?”
But she was already walking away into
her car.
“Sara!” He called after her.
She zoomed away.
4:30pm
“Mom, Dad, I can’t find Lawson…I can’t
find your son…” she cried as she paced
in front of the two who looked lost.
“You have to calm down and tell us what
happened” Lawson’s mother put her
arms around Sara.
Sara burst into tears, “Please Dad could
you try his number, maybe he’d pick
your call?”
“Have you been to his office?” He
picked his cellphone and dialed his son’s
number.
“I have been everywhere I know him to
be likely available”
“It’s ok…calm down please” Lawson’s
mother pet her.
“He’s not picking. What exactly went
wrong between you two?” Lawson’s
father searched Sara’a eyes
9:00pm
Sara was still in her pyjamas and on her
way back home, exhausted and stuck in
the traffic. She had told Lawson’s
parents everything. The poor couple was
so shattered and also begging her to
begin a new life. Sara buried her head on
the steering, crying; she hadn’t realized
the green light.
“Hey get off the freaking road!” a driver
cursed from behind her
“God please don’t let him harm
himself…keep him safe and lead me to
him…please God…” she quickly started
the car and began to move.
Suddenly she remembered the church
where they wedded and took their vows.
It was two hours from here; she made a
u-turn and headed for the church hoping
to find some peace.
She tiredly got down from the car,
drenched and exhausted. She trudged
into the open entrance of the church. She
paused for a moment; shocked…it was
Lawson sitting at the front row of the
empty church, facing the altar.
“Lawson!” She began to run towards
him, happy, relieved that he was ok.
“Sara?” He quickly stood as she
approached him, “Sara…”
They both ran into each other’s arms. He
hugged her so tightly
“I looked for you everywhere….thi s was
the last place I thought you’d ever be…I
just came and I saw you…Lawson….I’m
so happy you are ok” she touched his
face
“I didn’t know where else to go…It just
feels like I cant face the world
anymore…” he slowly released her from
his embrace.
“Take my hand” Sara stretched out her
hand, “C’mon, just take it”
Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers
and she took him to the altar and stood to
face him. She searched his eyes so
deeply and hadn’t seen him so weak and
helpless.
“Five years ago Lawson, we both stood
on this altar. Remember our vows?

Remember you whispered in my ear
never to leave you. I told you I
wouldn’t…that’s why I’m here. I am
your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with
you forever, though the bad and good
times. We’ve had good times, why would
I leave you now? All I want from you is
to believe that you can still give me a
child despite what the result said…I want
you to believe in a miracle”, she held his
face, “remember when you told me I was
a miracle in your life?…our children will
be our miracles too. Trust God with me
because I know it won’t be long…”
“Who are you Sara…” Lawson was weak
with her words.
“The one who vowed to be with you till
the end” she smiled through her thin
tears
“God I love you so much Sara” He
hugged her again.
“So will you come back home with me?”
Sara searched his eyes.
“I have no other place to call home” He
placed a soft kiss on her lips.
2 years after
Lawson and Sara were on the sofa
watching a late night movie. Sara was
resting on his shoulders when she felt the
movement
“Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don’t
miss it this time touch touch” she gently
placed his palm on the side of the
stomach. Both felt the movement of their
child
“I can feel him…I can feel him” Lawson
placed his head on her belly
“I can feel him growing each day inside
of me…”
“What do you think its saying now by
this movement?”
“Thank you dada for believing in me”
she laughed. They both laughed “The
movement has stopped” he slowly
removed his head from her stomach, “I
think he’s sleeping”
Sara rested on his shoulders again, “In
six months you’d be a father, “You
finally got your miracle”

Lawson tilted his wife’s face to him,
looking into her eyes, “Sara…you were
the miracle I needed. Thank you for not
leaving me.”
Sara tickled his nose with hers, “I love
you too. Always will”, she smiled, “We
missed a whole lot on our movie”
“Movie can wait, but this can’t” He
gently planted a kiss on her belly.