Friday, September 5, 2014

FUNNY BUT WISE AFRICAN SAYINGS

My experience with African books and authors like Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, Americanah, Purple Hibiscus, Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Petals of Blood by Ngลฉgฤฉ wa Thiong’o, So Long a Letter by Mariama Bรข, Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton and Open City by Teju Cole with a host of others have been soaked with African proverbs and awesome quotes related to the african setting. I've got some humorous proverbs here that will make you smile and perhaps, they will make you laugh but be sure to read between the lines because each carries life lessons lumped in few words. Here are they;
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers. (Uganda)

Don’t mistake a short man for a boy. (Nigeria)

He who has diarrhea knows the direction of the door without being told. (Uganda)

Just because you have been stung by a bee doesn’t mean you destroy all beehives. (Kenya)

A boy perched on a tree sees what an old man sees seated on a stool. (West Africa)

The sun that melts wax dries clay. (Niger)
He who runs alone celebrates. (Kenya)

Anger, no matter how hot it is, can never cook yam. (Nigeria)

You have to be careful to kill a fly that is perched on your scrotum. (Ghana)

If the throat can swallow a knife, the anus must find a way of expelling it. (Africa)

A goat’s frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market. (Nigeria)

Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald. (East Africa)

It is okay for a child to play with the mother’s breasts, but not the father’s testicles. (-Guinea)

A monkey that eats grass instead of banana is a goat. (Africa)

However much the buttocks are in a hurry, they will always remain at the back. (-Africa)

You cannot run and scratch your ass at the same time. (-Ethiopia)

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. ~(Unknown African source)
Rain does not fall on one roof alone. ~ (Cameroon, West Africa)

When God cooks, you don’t see smoke. ~ (“Kuteka Lesa ke kumweka bwishi ne.” from Kaonde, Zambia)

A man who hangs around a beautiful girl without saying a word ends up fetching water on her wedding.
~ Alur- Uganda Proverb

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Congratulations Eben & Jahdiel!!! The Baby Boy is Here!!

Eben with his baby boy at the hospital

It was great news for the music industry when Eben and Jadhiel tied the knots on November 30, 2013. It’s even greater news as the celebrity couple on Wednesday August 4, 2014, officially welcomed their first child.

“Mama, Na Boy”, the excited dad shared via his blackberry messenger status shortly after the bouncing baby boy’s birth yesterday, with a photo of him at the hospital with the child.

How sweet! We’re sure Eben and Jahdiel will make great parents to their lil’ prince.

Big congratulations from E-Testifies...

Anita Oyakhilome's lawyers say marriage is "irretrievable".

For over 2 decades, Chris and Anita Oyakhilome {President and Vice-President of the Believers Love World, better known as Christ Embassy} made the list of Nigeria’s most celebrated couples till last week when news broke out of their separation. Rev. Anita Oyakhilome had filed for divorce from her estranged husband Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, citing irreconcilable differences bordering on alleged adultery and misbehavior. The case with suit no. FD14D01650 was filed on 9th April 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn in London.

Attwaters Jameson Hill Solicitors, a UK-based full-service law firm on the matter and this was their reply;
“It is with great sadness that our client, Pastor Anita Oyakhilome, has come to the conclusion that her marriage to Pastor Christian Oyakhilome has irretrievably broken down and regrettably there is no hope of any reconciliation. We can confirm that Pastor Anita Oyakhilome has commenced divorce proceedings in London as she resides in the UK"
*I wish them all the best,no one deserves to stay in a situation that makes them unhappy…however the ministry goes on,the word of God cannot be silenced and God uses broken people to preach his word so nobody should judge them just because their marriage has crashed!

Attwaters Jameson Hill Solicitors, after news broke that she had filed for divorce, to enquire whether any out-of-court settlement option was being explored.

In their response on Tuesday, her attorneys said there was no chance the estranged couple would ever live as husband and wife again.

From early this year, there had been speculation that the marriage between Mr Oyakhilome, the founder of Believers Love World (aka Christ Embassy), and his wife, who is also Vice-president of the ministry, was collapsing.

Some church members even set up a Facebook page, “Where is Rev Anita Oyakhilome”, in May dedicated to addressing the issue.

The church initially denied reports that the couple were estranged and possibly divorcing.

Pastor Chris has denied the allegations. He however warned church members against analyzing his problem with his wife adding that the church is not a political party.

He said his wife is a bitter and angry woman who is being influenced by bad friends who are out to seek his downfall.

As the divorce battle rages, Mrs. Oyakhilome’s profile has been pulled down from the church’s website.